10 Ways to Save Money

Nathaniel loves his fruit! 
And Mom loves him eating free fruit ;)

After peach picking, make homemade preserves
and peach lemonade!

 1. Cut your own hair and your children's.  You can buy hair cutting scissors anywhere from super cheap to super expensive, but I've enjoyed my $10 ones.  I know this gets more complicated the shorter your hair and more layers you have, but if you already have short hair it's not going to hurt to do some tiny snips for a trim to practice as you can always go in and get it fixed. Mostly ;).  Long haired women, there's not much to it for a trim.  And your child's hair, I've done his while he sleeps and/or while watching a video.  They're not in beauty contests, so they're great for practicing on!  And you might as well learn now how to do it from the beginning.

Peppers are easy to grow in the south, and great for freezing!

2. a. Garden!  Don't have a field?  Pots work just as good if not sometimes better because you can control the weeds one by one.  I have a 10x10 garden, but it's been trial and error of what plants grow well, how to keep it weed-free, and not have to spend time every day tending to it. Still worth it though once you figure out what saves you money!  Plants that you can freeze from over-production are my favorite as that'll save you the most money in the long run.
b. Plant fruit trees and berry bushes vs any other tree/bush.  Do you research as some need at least another of the same kind to pollinate with, but the harvest is SO worth it come spring!  Strawberries late spring, then blueberries, peaches early summer, then apples...shall I keep going!?  Even better, see if you can go to a plant swap or know someone who is willing to let you dig up a couple bushes.
3. Couponing.  Now this is an area I have slacked on, but know many people who have saved 100s off making this part of their week.southernsavers.comis a great start.
4. Use self control and don't go out to eat as much!  I know this can be really hard when you want to spend time with friends, or want a night off from cooking.  Or heaven forbid you have a child, or more than one, and you're exhausted!
But get creative!  Have the friend come over to your place for spaghetti, left overs, frozen pizza, etc. (still cheaper probably for you to feed you both than pay tip somewhere, and the gas to get there!).  Exhausted?  Always have quick backup plans.  For example, every time I make lasagna or certain casseroles, I split it in half and freeze half for another day.  Or think of meals that take under 10 minutes to prepare (salads, breakfast for dinner, sandwiches, sautéing whatever vegetables and meat you have and throwing it on rice).  Rice cookers are awesome investments.


Turn an uh-oh mess into an education counting moment!
And since he licked them, use them for HIS homemade
popsicles instead of buying popsicle sticks ;)

5. Your children grow and it ain't cheap.  Once again, not in a beauty contest.  Consignment sale their clothes, and don't give in to the temptation that they always need a new toy.  Feel like they need more educational toys? Go to yard sales, take them to the library and check out books, or google educational activities for home.
6. Breastfeed and/or cloth diaper. I am aware not everyone can BF, but if you can don't give up after a couple weeks because it's painful.  Get help, and know that the pain DOES subside if you're doing it right.  It's the best for your child up to the first TWO years of their life (according to the World Health Organization), and you'll save thousands! Don't forget the time you save in not having to make bottles or clean up afterwards.

Cloth diaper cow pattern for his cow outfit on
Cow Apprecation Day= free meal!

Cloth diapering is intimidating, but by my calculations we started saving money only after  9 months of buying them and will continue to do so since I'll use them for child 2 and so forth.  Yes, you're having to deal with poop twice as much, and they're not as easy to travel with.  However, they're super cute, easy to get the hang of, and totally worth not having to run to the store for disposables.  The right kind also acts as a swim diaper, so you won't have to buy those!
7.  Make home remedies/substitutions.  Ran out of windshield wiper fluid?  Use 1/4 vinegar plus 3/4 water.  Don't have buttermilk?  1Tbs vinegar or lemon juice added to 1 cup milk-after 5 minutes gives you homemade buttermilk!  Have a small infection? Once again breast milk can save you money here as you can put it on small cuts, my earring holes got infected from using the wrong metal and breast milk cleared them up in a day, or say your baby's eyes are getting gunky...put some milk on those ducts!
8.  Ask God to reveal ways in which you could cut back or cut out money-munchers.  Maybe you could designate certain days you don't drive anywhere to save money on gas and get stuff done around the house?  Can you buy things in bulk and split with a friend?  Also, use all these ways in which you're saving to not be selfish, but wise and possibly give to others. 
9. Drink more water, or at least wait for the drinks you do like to go on sale, and be patient by drinking water until then ;).  When you go out to eat, resist the urge to order that amazing sweet tea or soda you're addicted to.  Remind yourself that it's ridiculous to pay $2 for a drink that you can buy a 2-liter for $1 at the grocery store.
10. Need a vacation? Sure, everyone needs a break/rest.  But you don't have to spend more than a few hundred dollars even for a week if you play it right and practical.  Ideas: 1. Cabin in the mountains if you have a connection with a friend or coworker who can hook you up for free 2. Drive to the beach if it's a reasonable distance and you know someone you can stay with for free not too far from the ocean 3. Watch flight price patterns and you'd be surprised the places you can go for around $100 round trip.  Wherever you go, make sure you can stay with someone for free and try not to eat out as much if possible. 4. Find a "getaway" place a short distance from where you live.  Maybe you have some good friends 45 minutes away that welcome a weekend stay-cation, or if your parents live near they could watch the kids for the day while you go to the lake/pool/whatever your idea of rest is.  Ultimately, you can make a place of rest wherever you allow your mind to rest.  Heck, your bedroom can be made an amazing stay-cation if you and your spouse set it up for each other that way (candles, music...you get the idea).

5. Count your date night as a vacation, rotate watching someone else's child(ren) so you never have to pay for a babysitter, and split a meal or make a picnic.

 

Our super cheap trip to NY (helped that N was under 2, so free to travel)

Mentoring and being mentored

David "mentoring" N who's in absolute awe

Recently I feel God has been bringing to my attention the importance and value in discipleship, mentoring, and being mentored.  Over the years I have had the privilege of all three, and have seen damage AND growth come from them depending on how they're taken on.  Maybe we need some definitions to help?

Mentor-someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person

Disciple-(other than the first 12 in the Bible of course)-To teach; to train, or bring up.
To make disciples of; to convert to doctrines or principles.

Back in high school, I had a rough experience when our small group leader explained that we in the group are accountability partners to each other. Although the purpose was to keep one another encouraged, we were not all trained in how to communicate and how to listen to each other regarding how to address sin in our accountability partner’s life.  Unfortunately, my friend and I were unsure how to go about this, and when she attempted to encourage me, she ended up telling me unproductively, and I did not know how to productively interpret.  So after one week, I thought I could not nor had I ever done anything right with my life.  And if anyone knows me, they know that I am much more sensitive to critique than I seem at first.

Thankfully I have an awesome Mom who encouraged me and helped me heal from the tough words I felt.  She also (thanks Mom!) talked with the small group leader about us being an accountability partners.  I should also say that my Mom, although biased toward her own child, didn't write off all the "errors of my ways," but encouraged me to really reflect on the possibility that I may actually have sin to deal with.  That maybe I don’t have to be defensive and I can think about how I can pray for the Lord to help me in the things I may not see on my own.  Since then, I have learned how to be a friend back to much more sensitive people.

I am now 27, I mentor a high schooler, lead a small group through our church, host a mom group, and am pregnant with #2.  Although I would say I have mentors in my life (my Mom, some friends that are a little older and/or more experienced), I am realizing there is much to be said about meeting with someone on a regular basis that can mentor from an experienced and loving view.  So finding this person is my "next step" (as our church likes to call them). 

Mom Group...can't imagine adding another boy in this pic

I encourage you to find someone who follows God's commands:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5

Pick someone who is looking to follow God in every step of their day, who has shown fruit in their life (try to live out God's Word, and are humble in their walk), and are reliable to meet regularly. Also, if you are married and your spouse loves Jesus, check-in with your spouse and make sure you both are in agreement with who you will be meeting with.

 

N learning drums from Dad at church

Dramatic lives mean what in the end?

Stepping on egg shells-symbolic?

 As a child, everything is a big deal.  Temper tantrum for not getting the toy first, having less candy than any sibling on Halloween, going to bed earlier than your friends, etc.

As an adolescent, you're learning some things are not all about you, but you're still focused and freaking out if you're getting taller/not growing at the rate it seems everyone else is, or being in a higher math/English/ and/or social studies class than your friends (well...used to be your friends as you may no longer "fit" or see them).

Teenagers, you know not everything is about you, but you love when they are.  Having your friends throw you a party, a boy/girl liking you, getting a license/phone/computer/ car/job, and all the drama in between.

 College, hopefully by now either a pastor, friend, or God Himself has made it pretty clear life is NOT about YOU.  Sure, it feels good when it is, but dang is that temporary and drained out like sand in a hourglass only leaving us wishing there was more.  You may learn this the hard way through "living the college life" like I did, or hopefully you were wise enough to learn from people's mistakes.

John 4 tells the story of the woman at the well where Jesus concludes with “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

How powerful and comforting that SHOULD be!  But learning to grasp the true meaning behind this, and the so many other times Jesus tries to explain how we should live our lives, isn't easy.  It isn't a dramatic 180 change either.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Psalm 26:3

Perfect peace?  That sounds nice! But first I have to trust in Christ :/...once again not this dramatic "oh Lord I trust you and all is well now!"  It's the little things that may even go unnoticed by the outside.  Like our attitudes.  Body language. Quick responses.

Nathaniel "at peace" for a moment

I've been reading in a book called Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic about how we as the parents are responsible for exemplifying grace, love, and walking daily with Christ.  One chapter is about our language.  Like any adult around children, we have to watch the words we use, but I am afraid that sarcasm, jokes, and slang are becoming "respectable sins" (the title of another great and convicting book) to make huge of a situation that should be small.  She shares of a morning trying tend to her 5 children under 5, and how the chaos of it all is "overwhelming".  For her, she has decided to cut that word specifically from her vocabulary.  Kinda silly sounding, huh?  But it gave her room to say "But I can't" when God wants us to have joyful hearts always.  It doesn't mean moments weren't overwhelming, but the words we say have so much more power over us and those around us than we realize.

I'm sure you know people that exhibit overly dramatic responses to life, just so, in turn, someone will agree with their dramatization.  After all, what's wrong with venting?  But, I wonder what would happen if we spent more time venting to Jesus, and venting to the people close to us who can then point us to Jesus?  This may be a much better approach than publicly venting and looking for affirmation, because it is far less likely that our source of true strength is going to come from our public dramatizations. Heck, I've been tempted to publicly post some thoughts just because I'm ticked, tired of, done with x,y, and z. But instead, I have found a great reward of peace from Christ when I am able to depend on him and vent directly to Him, or my husband or close friends, who, in turn, encourage me back to Jesus.

1 Thess 4:11 and 1 Timothy 2:1-4 talk about the value in living quiet lives.  That we would reach out to those around us in love, but quietly.  Any attention drawn for selfish reasons is drawn away from Christ.

You know you're pregnant when....

1. You're baby is only the size of a shrimp and you're already taking an extra pee stop in the middle of the night

 

(Meet Almond!  Due September 14th)

 

 2. 10 hours of sleep still leaves you tired

 3. You crave things like soup, and anything not in the house.

 4. Your milk supply goes down if you already have a child and are BFing, but that child doesn't seem to care.

 5. It gets harder to control your responses to sensitive subjects.

 6. You tear up from any family related movie or talk. 

 7. Your poop changes. Enough said.

 8. You can't remember if you said something out loud or only in your head. Or really you can't remember at all!

 9. Your list of things to do before baby only multiplies as due date gets closer.

 10. If it's your first, you think you're having The Chosen One and you've taken pictures every month . If it's your second or so on, ain't nobody got time to reflect on being pregnant! Haha...well, at least not without your other child(ren) making it close to impossible.

Over used, stressed, and put out?

(a moment of peace while N is learning to be gentle with Grayson)                  (a moment of chaos while holding Grayson)

There is always going to be something asking for your attention, time, money, thoughts, help, etc.

Question is, where is my heart when I feel like I am giving giving giving, and not receiving much of anything in return?  

Heart Check 1.  Matthew 6:1-4 talks about giving as to receive a reward from God and not from the praise of man.  So there goes seeking a pat on the back :P.  And fact is God is patting me on the back like a parent does when a child does something right- and that's all I need!  Getting to be in a relationship with Him IS my reward.

Heart Check 2. Galatians 6:9-10 " Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
The Bible has so many places like this where God is trying to encourage us to keep going!  This is the kind of verse worth memorizing so that when I am exhausted and have a headache I can remind myself why I am doing it.  It's so easy to get weary sometimes and want to make excuses to be impatient, lazy, or feel entitled to just give up - but that's exactly the opposite of what God calls us to do!

Heart Check 3. The lyrics to Ginny Owens "I am nothing" are so sobering to me.  We do all these things, but if we don't love....if we aren't joyfully doing them for Christ, they're meaningless.  How many times do we expect a listening ear back when we've listened to someone through their vent/struggles?  How many times do we tell ourselves we deserve things?  I am so glad Jesus didn't have that attitude. "You know what, I have been healing people all day, so I think I am going to sit and listen to a bunch of people praise me for my awesomeness and eat ice cream."  Yikes!

(Fishing attempt #2...here-happy, only minutes later though, he was bottom-soaked from sitting in cold wetlands....sheesh)

 

So next time I feel like Nathaniel has taken ALL of my energy or I have done too much in a short period of time -I hope to think more of these 3 "Heart Checks."  And maybe learn to slow down a little too ;)

Dealing with the In-laws

The holidays are over and, if you're like me, you spent them with a bunch of family.  To make things a little smoother among my side's currently 25-person roster, it was decided to rotate the holidays between spouse families.  This year - Thanksgiving day and Christmas Eve with my side of the family and Christmas day with my husband's side.  Next year, we flip the order. However, this formula always gets a little bit more complicated than the set plan.  Something always happens where it ends up being half days with each side of the family all week.

Maybe splitting holiday commitments sounds familiar to you?  It's hard to please all family, especially when the families are not very far from one another.  In our case, both my side of the family and my husband's live within 30 minutes of each other.  Now, add in whatever drama that is unique to your family (and we have some too), and suddenly it feels like someone put you on top of a spinner. 

Don't get me wrong, I love both sides of my families and even like them :).  But it is hard not to be biased toward my biological side.  Especially considering the fact that you have had however many more years of holidays and experiences (good and bad) than what you married into.  So how do you make sure that both sides feel you don't hate/ aren't avoiding them?  You can't! Fully at least. 
What has worked from my experience...
1. Make trip plans known and clear
2. Spend quality time with both sides if quantity isn't an option
3. Do not put it all on you if it doesn't work out.  It happens, spending quality time with every single person is like getting a straight flush in poker.  And some people would rather sit around in quantity time anyway!

Also, don't forgot Genesis 2:24 - "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."  Being married and having a family of our own eliminates the "ok, you can go back to doing your own thang when we are doing this or that."  Gatherings will become complicated as the family grows, but you still have to take care of your own family.  David and I make sure that even in all of the hustle and bustle of spending time with family because it allows us to make sure our relationship and family is healthy - which provides us with the opportunity to truly enjoy our time with family. 

THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT

(James, Seth, and Nathaniel.  I pray they grow to spread the

Good News together and/or wherever they may live)

Sometimes, it can be hard to understand the phenomenon of when a “ball is passed into someone else's court.”  An illustration:

You: Hey, you want to hang out?

Other: Sure!  Let me get back to you!

You (significant time later): Sooo...how does Wed or Thur look for you?

Other: __________ (no response)

Now, I know people (friends or family) get busy, lose their phones, forget, or possibly, and hopefully the most unlikely scenario, are purposefully avoiding you.  But, for the purpose of this discussion, let’s assume this occurs multiple times.  For clarification, I have been the perpetrator and unintentionally forgotten to respond after some time, but in being receiver and the person on the waiting end, I can definitely say that waiting for the ball to be passed back is the hardest part.  So much so that it is tempting to assume the worst about people.  So, here is what God is teaching me about assuming the best:

Acts 2: 42-47 The Fellowship of the Believers

⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

One of my first thoughts after reading this was that I don't think God is saying you have to be in fellowship with every believer within a 10 mile radius.  Heck, the church I go to is over 1000 people!  My direct family ALONE is 25! However, the reality is that building relationships does involve a metaphorical passing back and forth of the ball. This “passing” creates the opportunities for us to actually spend time with one another and enjoy the fellowship that we have. 

Now, have I met people along the way, been in fellowship for a time, and gone our separate ways? Yep.  Many times.  I also recognize that I won't enjoy or have commonalities with everyone, and that's ok.

But, I also am confident that the Lord created relationships for a purpose, and not just to spend time together.  One of the purposes is for us to encourage one another so that we can “Go and make disciples of ALL nations...." Matthew 28:19.  Our fellowship together can be balanced and can equip us to carry out the purpose of our lives – to share the gospel and be representations of Christ to others. 

I say all that to say this. Relationships are extremely helpful in our walk with the Lord.  They help us be encouraged, see our flaws, and help move us towards being better at sharing and living the Gospel.  So, when you have passed the ball into someone else’s court, be patient.  Trust the Lord, search your heart, keep on encouraging them, and keep on trying to connect with others.  We are not called to assume the worst, but to “have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3: 8.

Christmas is next week- talk about a great opportunity to be in fellowship!  I encourage you to boldly, yet gently, open some conversations with family members who aren't believers or believers that you may have unresolved conflicts.

 

(good friends of ours fellowshipping with us in celebration of Nathaniel turning 1)

 
 

The difference between hearing and processing

(Nathaniel "processing" Hickory Dickory Dock)

I was reading in Revelation this morning, finished a chapter, and got maybe one thought out of it.
Sure, Revelation isn't an easy read, but aren't I just wasting my time and making it less appealing to read my Bible every day if I can't remember a thing from it?
My Dad use to ask me weekly "have you read your Bible lately?" followed up by "what did you learn?" in which I learned quickly that the two are supposed to go together.  Now being married, David and I try to do the same thing, but there's something to be said about the loving authority my Dad provided that put a little more kick in the pants to get on it!

All this got me thinking about when I listen to speakers, or even friends sharing a story, do I always process what they're saying?  Or do I zone out sometimes and pick up the gist of it? (friends, it's usually not intentional, I promise! You can't say you haven't done the same :P)

Ex 1- "Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb" Rev 7:10.  It belongs to Him?  This is one of the verses I originally skimmed over.  However, having highlighted at some point in the past, I revisited it realizing I wasn't fully sure what it was saying.
Salvation is defined by the Bible as being saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Soooo it belongs to Him because it was made possible by Him.  Of course, believing and walking by faith is a choice we make and we can be thankful that a loving God who has power over everything, also has the power to forgive us of our sins.

Ex 2- Making bread.  You can't skim the recipe and expect to know exactly how to make it.  I have a friend who gave me an amazing bread recipe(you're welcome!), and unless you pay attention to the details of how long you let it rise, how much of each ingredient, etc....you will have a complete fail.
Now I have the recipe memorized, and I am even able to branch out with adding new ingredients to make it more flavorful!  But just like our relationship with God, we can't expect to know how to live like Christ by half listening.  We have to be willing to learn.  Focus.  Desire to know Him, even if that means we have to change to see Christ "more flavorfully" (new word?). 

(a slice of the amazing bread is part of a balanced diet ;))

12 Things I am glad they did or wish someone had told me before having Nathaniel

 

 

1.* Nap when he naps, and let others do the cooking and cleaning.

 

2.  Have a song/lullaby/hum to sing to your baby to sleep.  Ideally singing it while they're in you so they recognize it, but it's more to add to their routine and keep you sane.  I sing "In Christ Alone" for naps and "Dream Train"(family song) for bed.

 

3. Buy a bunch of reusable breast pads-they're so small, they can go in any wash of clothes, and they save money!

 

4.  Do NOT be afraid/ashamed to ask for help!  It truly takes a village...that's gotta be in the Bible somewhere...hah!  And this includes asking the husband.  He may have no clue what to do, but if you make him part of a routine (he changes the diaper, passes the baby to you, you feed, he rocks to sleep) it will make him feel useful in this crazy change of pace.

 

5. Practice writing and signing their name at least a couple times.  It is really awkward trying to sign a name at the doctor's office when the only other time you write in cursive is your own name.

 

6.* Make an effort to take a bath (and then a shower if you feel nasty) every day.

 

7. Put something over their "spicket" while changing diapers, and for boys point it down as you go to put the diaper on to be sure he doesn't pee out the side.

 

8. Breastfeeding can be boring.  I learned to use my phone with one hand, and have plenty of TV shows to watch while stuck in a chair feeding.  It's also good to have distraction from the soreness/pain.

 

9.*  Start having a date night with your spouse as soon as you're up for leaving them a couple hours.  I can't stress the importance of getting out, even when it doesn't seem worth the hassle.  A babysitter is worth it, so add that to your budget or take turns watching someone else's kid.

 

10.  As much as you want all the cute stuff, being prepared for them is much more simple than what  BabysRUs wants you to register for.  A car seat, place for them to sleep, some diapers, and a couple outfits are the basics if you're breastfeeding.  And hopefully you have friends you can borrow stuff from since you never know if your child will love/hate that $100 swing.  But more than likely you won't take my word for it and you'll be returning things just like I did :P.

 

11. Babies cry for a reason.  It's their ONLY way of communicating with you, so consider it healthy and try to solve the puzzle.  Sometimes it's as simple as needing to pass gas, or it could be they're over-tired making it that much harder to get them to sleep and stop crying.  The key is to not stress yourself out from it, and know you're NOT spoiling them by holding them and keeping them from crying.  Who can blame them for loving being in your arms where they can hear the heartbeat they've heard for 40+/- weeks, and the temperature is just right?

 

 

 

12. It's ok to spit up!  It's usually a sign that either they drank too much, something wasn't sitting well with them, or they're not feeling well...usually. Don't worry about making up for food lost- it's the baby's body's "I don't want that part" reaction.  Note, throw up is totally different.

 

 

*=I was graced with this knowledge beforehand

 

Holding to hopelessness

 

(photo taken by Leigh and Becca - LeighandBecca.com)

 

Observation: Complaining creates a deep hole of self pity that makes seeing Christ's love incredibly difficult.  We lose sight of Christ and our mission to love one another, and create a cycle where we only focus on ourselves and our discomfort/displeasure/discontentment. 

 

^14 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, 'children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.' Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky ¹⁶ as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain." Philippians 2

Growing up, my Dad would always sing the verse-inspired song "a joyful heart makes a cheerful face (3x), do you HAVE a cheerful face?!" in which he'd get real close to our faces and usually tickle us until we did have a cheerful face. However, if we were set on being grumpy, he also would conversationally quote Phil 2:14 because the song only worked if we were partially grumpy. So I guess you could say it's a pet peeve of mine to hear someone complain- it's not shining like a star for Christ, it's holding to perceived hopelessness! 

Take Job for example:
“I loathe my very life;
    therefore I will give free rein to my complaint
    and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.
 I say to God: Do not declare me guilty,
    but tell me what charges you have against me.
³Does it please you to oppress me,
    to spurn the work of your hands,
    while you smile on the plans of the wicked."


I admire his honesty with God.  But it's with God.  Our complaining to each other or ourselves is not beneficial (there is a difference between complaining and sharing your pains with someone for help or prayer).  Job obviously was crying out to God because He is the only one that can do something about it.  Our daily situations generally have something to do with our actions (or complacency), and we have to choose whether we are going to listen to and live for Christ or stay in "woe is me" land.

^" Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.  Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other."1 Thessalonians 5:10-13

Building up and loving on those that are working hard; for you this could be your career, tending the yard, changing a diaper, spiritually encouraging one another, etc.. Building also requires a strong foundation.  If we want to grow, we have to be willing to take healthy criticism and challenge ourselves while living in Christ's hope for our lives.  A joyful heart in all we do isn't easy, but man oh man will it allow for Christ's light to shine!

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

  

Balancing relationships

Choices:

• Spend time in the Word or take a nap
• Clean the house or play with Nathaniel
• Watch a TV show or talk with David
• Stay home or hang out with a friend

When Nathaniel was exactly 6 weeks old, I went back to work part time.  I would breastfeed him right before I left, think about him while I was working, and think about work when I was with him.  I applaud you Moms who have the ability to keep up with work and also have an infant, but I was running on fumes. I felt like I was always making it a big deal to decide between showing Nathaniel attention or something work related that I found pressing. 

Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I'm starting to see that making difficult choices with my time has not disappeared.  Even though I learned to do a million two handed or squatting activities while he was sleeping or super happy (i.e. cutting things up for dinner, taking a shower, cleaning the bathroom, putting clothes on, etc.), I found that much of his contentment probably had a lot to do with him being held or in an infant-carrier on me.  I tried to let him do laundry, but, if you can see the picture, he is still getting the hang of it :), but at least he likes it -"Happy baby leads to happy Mom!"

Despite my multitasking during his periods of contentment, I had to learn what the Bible says about the choices I make and what is worth prioritizing in many moments. For example:

• Naps are amazing, but am I making sure to find rest in the Lord as well?
• Psalm 4:8
• I have to have a clean house so Nathaniel doesn't eat unknown things, but am I making sure to appreciate and love on Nathaniel as he grows at this oober fast pace?
• Ephesians 6:4
• Everyone needs time to relax, but can I not also find relaxation in hanging out with David?
• Song of Songs
• It's important to not overdo yourself and give your child(ren) somewhat a routine, but God also calls us to be in fellowship with one another and not let our fears get in the way of walking in faith. 
• Matthew 18:20

Now...take Nathaniel Trick or Treating, or hang out with friends? Or both?!

Pain

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." - C.S. Lewis' work, The Problem of Pain.

We should have the mindset of doing things FOR His glory, even in the pain (1 Corinthians 10:31). Pain is so commonly thought of as a bad thing. No one wants or likes the burn from mouthwash, get half a nights rest, or go through labor pains!  (Quite a spectrum I gave you, huh?)  But what would life be without pain than for us to appreciate the pleasures?  If Jesus was like "ummm...I don't want to go through that whole nailed to a cross thing, so just beam me up God, and wash them of their sins" what kind of example would that be? He knew the impact it would make on our souls, and BECAUSE He loves us He went through that!  This is not easy for me to grasp.  Those late nights when Nathaniel was a few weeks old and nothing was putting him to sleep, I was pushed to some serious limits of patience and exhaustion.  I had a hard time sometimes even remembering that my lack of patience, was, well, mine.  It was not Nathaniel's fault!  He was a newborn simply trying to say he was hungry or that he needed comfort.  When I started to become frustrated, that's when I stopped trusting God and leaning on His definition of rest.

Our culture suggests that as long as we are logically justified, we may do what we please and think as we please and that we are beyond reproach.  This logical justification we engage in involves us saying things to ourselves like, well "this situation is bad, so I should feel frustrated, and since I should feel frustrated, I am right to act and live in my frustration.  I mean, if I don't then I'm not being true to myself, right?"  The biggest issue with this is that, this is not the model Christ gave us.  I bet that once he started getting spat on and beat on, He could have said "ain't nobody got time for this," and just changed his circumstance because He was frustrated.  But He did not.  He used the pain as the representation of the physical torment that we deserve for our own sin and injustice.  His pain had purpose, and I think it's time we noticed that our pain does as well. 

This brings me to another point that I have been thinking about - da da dumm....natural child birth versus epidurals.  As some of you know, I opted to give birth to Nathaniel naturally.  Why didn't I bother with an epidural you may ask? I mean we kind of see it like having a headache and not taking Tylenol.  Why would you do that?  My reason is this, I wanted to experience God in a way I never have before.  Here is my ultimate opportunity to tell Him I love Him with all that I have, that I was willing to endure whatever it took.  Now, please understand, this was a very personal decision for me, and you may not be at a place in your relationship in Christ where it is even necessary or appropriate.  Maybe other circumstances have granted you an immense physical opportunity to really put your fears, heck, your life in God.

Point is, for those of you on the fence, I want to give you an encouragement to see this as opportunity.  Pray, and consider what the Lord is telling you.  The Lord completely blew my mind and immediately prepared my heart to depend on Him like never before.   Honestly, the verses in 1 Peter and Romans that encourage us to rejoice in our sufferings had never been so real.

Now, for those of you who may have had epidurals, cesarean sections, or the like, in fear/concern of a painful or potentially complicated childbirth, please know that I am, in no way, out to judge you.  I just see natural childbirth as one of the MANY, but somehow incredibly unique (I mean, men can't experience this...right? haha) opportunities for women here on earth to really experience the love and power of Christ in an extremely intimate way. 

(Nathaniel squished himself behind these toys and couldn't get out.  He is very good at showing a face of pain or discomfort)

P.S. There are some sources that you may also want to consider on epidurals, cesarean sections, etc., that I actually found helped me make my decision to give birth naturally.  You may want to consider them.
Every underlined word is it's own link to documentation:
1. 33% of births in 2012 were cesarean
2. Risks of epidurals ... many risks.

Perspective

Growing up I recall several occasions where I would learn something new and anytime I saw this new knowledge take place/be spoken I would pay attention to make sure it was precisely as I was educated.  For example, cars turning left at a light are to yield to cars turning right down the same road unless the right turners have a yield sign.  There are too many people who do not know this or do not obey this traffic rule. 
 Or a more theological example, since Christ is knocking on the door of our hearts (Matthew 7:7), we are not asking Jesus to live in our hearts and lives; we are accepting. He is omnipresent and does not need us to believe in Him.  He exists and is God all without our help, but He offers this free gift to us if we repent (see our crap, and turn AWAY from it) and turn to Christ.
*steps down from podium*
 
All that to say, I didn't learn these things when I was born. "You learn something new every day." Right?  My problem is when I learn something, I either judge those that haven't learned it yet, or simply think it's bizarre that people of certain age or experience don't know certain things. 
 
-"You think eating only a couple pieces of junk food a day will help you lose weight more than meals with fruits and vegetables?"
-"Have you done any research on breastfeeding? World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding up to 2 years as that is how long they can benefit from it. It also will help you lose weight, decrease your chances of breast cancer, and the list goes on…. " http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/
-"The Bible says 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' Proverbs 13:24, so we are disobeying God in assuming that our power to reason (by just choosing not to spank) supersedes the perfect plan of God. Granted, it is the responsibility of the parent to know they must be the reflection of Christ as they discipline be sure in their heart they are not doing so anger –which is incredibly challenging (more on this later….).
 
If you noticed, as my short list progressed, things became a bit deeper.  However, I tend to forget that the deeper things took time for me to learn, and by thinking that all people have not come to the same conclusion really limits my belief that God is all powerful and is in the process of writing all of our stories, should we give him the pen.  Regardless of what people know, or are learning, only He has the right perspective on EVERYTHING.  We as humans only have the right perspectives when we listen to Him and follow His answers.  Even then we are human; if we follow His steps in one area, doesn't mean we will choose to love people in another.
 
I am working on how to share what God has shown me with those around me, while also expressing that I want them to biblically explore things because I care about them.  Even if they come to different conclusions than me, just to know that we can talk things in light of what the Lord has shown us really helps us encourage one another. For example, if God is telling you that spanking your child is probably not a good idea, because maybe you struggle with anger, then this isn’t a matter of right or wrong, this is a matter of having something for others to pray for you about and not carrying that burden alone. 
 
God has different ways of doing things for different people, so just because He told me one thing doesn't mean He is going to tell someone else to do it the same way.  EVERY decision we make should be backed up by Christ, by the Bible, and lots of prayer. Do I always do this? Nope. But on huge decisions like becoming a Christian, how to give birth, or even what car to buy.....my goal is to pray hard, seek guidance, take my time, and wait on His answer.

Let the blogging begin!

I can't believe I am getting back into blogging. Hah, I remember my first one being on Xanga back when I was in high school and wanting a place to vent. I have been praying about starting one because I want to make sure my heart is right in doing so.  I don't want to selfishly vent. I don't want to say stuff just because something rubbed me wrong, or I just think I am always right.  Sure, selfishly I want to document my life as a mom to look back on when my kids are older. However, more importantly I want it to be an encouragement in the everyday crazy life of a mom trying to live for Christ while -changing diapers (cloth I might add), making dinner and cleaning house with a demanding child at my hip, being a loving wife to a hard working husband, and socializing with neighbors, friends, and strangers.  All of which have taken their own twist since having a child.  Even though Nathaniel is 10 months old, I can tell you I still have thoughts of "If I could only leave you in the car for 10 seconds so I could drop this package off without having to take you in and out of the car seat." Hah! I beat myself up every time I think it's a good idea even for a second....but I bet you can't say you haven't thought it yourself, parents! Satan is a sneaky one, even in the little things.
Anyway, I pray that this is a light in people's lives who feel like they're alone or are close to giving up on little things that I feel make a big difference.